Yep, this was the day. The day I finally got up the nerve to take that little test. It had been sitting in my bathroom since Sunday night and I just kept telling myself that I was wrong and just jumping to conclusions. But let me tell you, I've never been so nervous in my entire life. No other moment in my life compared to the fear that I had in those moments. Not fear that it would be but fear that it wouldn't be. I guess that's the way it is when you've wanted something for so long and its completely out of your hands for you to get it. When I'm told I can't do something or that something is out of my reach that's the best motivation for me because you can bet your life I'm gonna do it just to prove you wrong. However this was different; I had no control over whether it happened or didn't happen. It was all out of my hands.
Back to those three minutes.....which seemed like eternity. I did my business and went on into the kitchen just like every other morning to make breakfast for Jania and Riley. By the time I got back to the bathroom to see the results because I knew those three minutes had passed I was a nervous wreck and shaking all over. I tell you there was no denying it though. This is one time I won the argument in the store about whether to buy the cheap version or the expensive one; I didn't want to try to figure out a puzzle of lines or colors. I insisted that it be clear and undeniable and boy was it.....PREGNANT. Yep, I looked at those directions again to make sure I followed them only to find out that I did. Now by this time Lance was sitting on the bed trying his best to reach his feet to put on socks (yeah, that's a funny sight these days) and I guess it was a good thing that he was sitting down. I tried and tried to get the words out of my mouth but I couldn't make a sound. I looked down again just to make sure I could still read since I lost all ability to speak and could figure no other way to let him know other than just plopping that test in front of him. I must say though, he's very talented because when he read that test, he was able to speak and for some reason my voice just came back then. After a few words and well, a few tears all we could think was "Oh my God we're gonna have a baby!" I jumped up and clicked my heals together only to be immediately scolded by Lance. Then I ran to the phone. Who would I call first? How would we tell our parents? Tracee, did you pass this to me in the hospital? Do we have to wait to tell or can we tell everybody, TODAY? So many questions, not enough answers. First things first, call Donna. I knew she was up, probably had been for hours. Surely she thougth I'd lost my mind for calling her at 7 a.m. until I told her the reason for my call. I think she might have lost it a little bit too. I can't even remember the order of the rest of the calls that day but I clearly remember tht Toi thought I was lying and Tracee and Mrs. Susan almost wrecked. I think that throughout the day as Lance continued to let the world know he was a little worried that maybe we'd had a false positive. It seemed that everyone he called asked first, "has she gone to the doctor yet?" When he answered no they all said to call them back after I went to the doctor to confirm. What do you think that resulted in? Yep, you guessed it, I took another test that produced the same result in less than a minute AND drug him to the doctor with me on that first visit so he could see the results of their test. He just had a hard time believing that it was true and really happening after so long! Poor guy was in shock.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
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